Boobie Tassels For Buddha

I'm not really sure what I would like to write about...

I mean, this is my first blog ever. Maybe I should make it the best blog ever...

But if I make the best blog ever then I wouldn't really have much else to say ever again...

Actually, I would have things to say and more blogs to post afterwards, but, they just wouldn't be as good as this one.

So, I think I'll just make this an ok blog. Just ok.

I'm happy with ok...

I'm ok...

I guess I'll start by saying that I live in a really small town on the coast of Oregon...Pronounced: Or-a-gin.... not O-ree-gone, or O-ri-gun. The only thing to do here is to get drunk...which I don't mind doing, but I'm no damn drunkard! I like to drink, but, fuck. It seems like some people here never stop. Constantly stumbling along the main road (which is a highway) mumbling to themselves or to total strangers, or to people that they actually know but the people they actually know still don't know what the fuck is happening because they're so fucking wasted.

The only friend that I've managed to make in this town is one of these drunks. He is the guy that actually hired me at the book store that I currently work at. He was the assistant manager. He has since been fired, partly because of his drinking. Now, he has all day and night to get drunk uninterrupted.

Like I said, I like to drink. But not to the point of blackout. This guy does just that. When he gets drunk, the first thing he starts doing (of course) is slurring. Which is fine, I think that there's nothing funnier than a drunk slurring his/her words. Really, it's funny. Like farts. Call me childish, but, the sound of a fart will always make me laugh. Just like drunks and all their word slurring greatness. Not only does he slur, but he won't repeat anything. If you didn't hear what he said, tough, he will not repeat it (which to me is hilarious), which can be annoying sometimes, but, he's drunk as shit!

The next thing he does is blurt things out. Loud. I'll be having a conversation with someone and he'll be standing there quietly listening for a minute, when out of nowhere we hear him say the following: "Yer HOT! I lie sometimes." to some poor girl trying to mind her own business and talk to her friends. Or, same situation and he'll say this: "I know, right! HAHAHAHAHA!" <---this causes everyone to stop whatever it was they were saying and look right at he and I.

Funny stuff, so, we make our way back to his place to smoke a bowl. It's after 1 am on a work day (for most). He feels the need to crank his stereo up to the point where it doesn't even sound like music anymore. It hurts my ears. But the funniest thing about this part is: He doesn't speak any louder than normal. If he says something, it literally cannot be heard over the music. Please keep in mind that while all this is going on, he can't stand up. Anyway, I usually fuck around with him asking him repeat everything he says. I also ask him to turn it up louder, in a low voice, so that he can't hear me.

I always think to myself: This would be a hilarious movie.

So, that's all I have for my first blog...looking back over it I feel like was rambling about something really stupid and unfunny, I guess you had to be there...but maybe it's better that you weren't. But then again, maybe if you were there It would've been ever funnier.

I thought it was funny....

Did you?