January 21, 2010
Ironic, because I hate technology
10:27 PM | Posted by
wastingawesome
thank you for calling bob's wireless. please tell me what you are calling about so i can direct your call.
Wireless.
What was that? i heard cable tv. if this is correct say yes.
No.
i'm sorry, i misunderstood. tell me again.
Wireless.
What was that? i heard home phone. if this is correct say yes.
No.
i'm sorry, i misunderstood. tell me again.
WIRELESS FUCK!!!! FUCKING W, FUCKING I, FuCKING R...
it's an old gag now, but seriously. en-fucking-raging.
I spent a number of hours on the phone this week trying to get myself a new phone. My phone cpy has a thing where if you have a phone for 24 months they'll give you big savings on new phones. And they make you sign a 3 year contract for service. I should have shot myself over it years ago.
Anyhow. My terms are not up yet, i don't have enough points for a new phone. but I'm cheap. And not having as much bank as you want serves as the basis for a lot of ingenuity or more likely perseverance in the face of common sense. I inquired about the advantages of being a government employee. One guy, by the name of Anish told me i would get rock bottom pricing on a new handset. well that's peachy. Another guy, Jeff, later told me i have to change my plan to an employee plan before I can save any bank. OK. Do it Jeff. But no, Jeff can't do it, it has to be done in a store. OK. Adam, Store Guy, has no idea what i'm talking about. So I call Bob's Wireless from Bob's Video store. Jenny can't help me. Computers are down.
Next day I call again.
please tell me what you are calling about so i can direct your call.
33 minutes later i'm talking with Goran about my new plan and my new handset...things are looking good. oh. Computers still down, can't close the deal. fuck. Kind of like when that girl had your cock in her mouth at that party in High School, when you got really drunk and fingerfucked her just so she would catch your load with her uvula but she was drunk too, so when she tasted precum she freaked and ran to the bathroom and got sick...exactly like that. let down.
So. I called again today. Every one was shutting me down. Doug, Jennifer, Alice, Donna, Frank...fuckers. I had dropped calls, mis-transfered calls, spent easily an hour on hold (how can I be charming on hold?)and explained again and again exactly what I was looking for.
Finally, i got somebody i could trust on the other end of the line. I'm sorry, what's your name again? My name is Mujib sir. Awesome. Mujib helped me get a $650 phone for under a hundred bucks, no shipping, no admin. Score.
The point here is this. If you want something bad enough, don't stop until you get it.
But a better point is this. If you wanna screw the North American corporation, don't rely on your fellow North Americans to help you. Rely, rather, on Indians!
Yeah, I know, they are outsourcing all the call centre jobs to India which hurts the (North) American industry, thanks Lou, I get it. But, and here is where it gets really complicated. The guys who stole the (North) American call centre jobs all helped me save 550$. That, truly, is all i give a fuck about. Now i can afford to buy those blowjobs that I feel i missed out on at that party in High School.
Labels:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 Comments:
we get automated systems calling insurances at work. my boss has a loud mouth and when he's talking about deer hunting he totally fucks up the whole process because it picks up his voice in the background. i just have to punch a fuckload of buttons until i get an operator....essentially the system feels sorry for me that i'm too retarded to figure it out and hands me over to a trained professional.
my intention is always to fuck up the electronic system as fast as possible in order to speak to a human. Then i tell the first human i hear to fuck off directly in an effort to bypass the "first phase" of contact. If i make it clear that my response to a friendly hello is an acrid go to hell, they'll pass me to someone who doesn't fuck around.
You can use the money you saved outsourcing american jobs to india and spend it on american made products, which will create new american jobs!!
. . . so really, you're a patriot.
but i'm canadian...
Post a Comment