February 6, 2010
Alien Apocalypse
11:34 PM | Posted by
Tzarii
Normally I have been blogging about experiences in college. No tonight I have a list of demands and other lists that are sure to cause hilarity. Mainly in dealing with movies
My list of demands for movies
1. Original Content: Now damn you! Yes biopics can be cool. So can movies based off of books. But I have not seen too many movies that aren't based off of something or resemble something lately. I am not asking for the next Indiana Jones or some other hugely awesome original series I am just asking for a movie that is cool and original. I know the writers don't get paid enough but damn it man they are starting to get too damn uppity.
2. Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg both commit Japanese Ritual suicide on national television for all to see. Sure the first _____ movie was funny. After that it went downhill faster than you can say Manos the Hands of Fate. I have seen bad movies. Ones that are so bad that they are funny. These are not that. These are abominations. There are hundreds of awesome movie ideas that never get made each year, and these guys get to make failtastic movies that make nerd rage turn into nerd wrath. They have taken from humanity and deserve to die. Painfully.
3. Michael Bay's middle name should be officially changed to "shit is gonna blow up in my movies." Well pretty much should be. It often does.
4. Tarintino deserves a medal.
5. More B-Movies that are so bad they are fun to watch.
6. World War Z needs to come out before 2012
7. Same with the captain america movie
8. More voyage of the self movie without being to freaking preachy.
Here is my next list. Super Powers I want.
1. Protection from mind control, brainwashing, telepathy etc. Cause the second someone has super powers there is always some jackass who wants to control minds. This gets around that.
2. Total understanding and control of Electricity AKA "God Mode." This would mean I would never have to care again. I could literally look at a person funny and kill them by ripping all the electricity from their body and using it as an tazer on the person next to them or hack an atm with.
3. Doppleganger powers. Or basically shape shift into other people. Mostly just to fuck with people and get into nice clubs without having to use power 2 to browbeat people into letting me in.
4. Telekinesis. Because sometimes traffic pisses me off or if something is to distant for me to reach I could always get it.
5. Teleportation. Easy way to save money and make money. Also nice way to be near friends or whatever. It would make life a lot easier. Sorta like in jumper only without having to have gone to the place before.
6. Knowledge theft. Basically I would be able to learn everything another person knows by touching them. So if I touched a quantum physicist I would know all the stuff he knows about quantum physics.
7. Photographic Muscle Memory. Anything I see Bruce Lee do I can do, same with jackie chan or chuck norris.
8. Not dying when falling from great heights or whatever. Because jumping off of a building and not dying or being injured would make life really fun. I see someone down below and want to freak them out and just land beside them.
9. Control of fire. Just in case they didn't get the picture with the electric death.
10. Summon Velociraptors to attack things and do stuff for me. Just because it would be cool to watch.
11. The ability to punch someone in the face whenever I wanted-- and it would be legally and morally justified when I did it. IE if I punch someone in the face I could never get in trouble for it. That would be the coolest super power ever.
I will make more lists sometime. But I am done for now.
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