December 27, 2009
survey says....
1:01 PM | Posted by
jenniy
I get absolutely tired of reading those innane surveys people take online and post on their social pages and blogs. I mean, if you're 40 years old and have 3 kids, it really doesn't make sense to answer a survey with questions like "have you ever kissed anyone?" I mean, fucking duh. Ok, well technically I guess you could have fucked your baby daddies without kissing them making the above question semi valid, but that right there is a seperate blog all by itself...so, in my not so humble opinion, these surveys really need to get down to the heart of the matter. Here's an example:Name:
Age:
Now your actual age:
Shoe size:
Addicted to:
Fetishes:
Have you ever called out your own name during sex?
What's the largest tip you've ever left someone for a blowjob?
After a dry spell, has your dog/cat/goat ever appealed to you as a change up from your hand?
If you could make an amateur porn with anyone on your friends list, who would it be? why?
A genie rants wishes for sexual favors, which celebrity would you ask for? (I'd waste 2 wishes on a seth rogen/paul rudd double team). please someone send me said genie so i can die happy oh and for my third wish...i'd probably throw in james franco. I'm a freaks and geeks fan.
Ever fucked someone only to realize halfway through that you either don't know or can't remember their name?
How many people have you slept with in a 24 hour period?
Do you like anal?
please feel free to answer these questions and add more of your own then post this survey to all your social sites. your friends will thank you for actually being entertaining for once.
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5 Comments:
Name: James
Age: 27
Now your actual age: For real!
Shoe size: 12 1/2
Addicted to: Cigarettes and mochas.
Fetishes: Is it nasty and debaucherous? I'm probably into it.
Have you ever called out your own name during sex? Only when I fuck myself, which is constantly.
What's the largest tip you've ever left someone for a blowjob? A pat on the head and a moist towelette.
After a dry spell, has your dog/cat/goat ever appealed to you as a change up from your hand?
Only my goat.
If you could make an amateur porn with anyone on your friends list, who would it be? why?
You, because you're smart, sexy and have awesome socks.
A genie rants wishes for sexual favors, which celebrity would you ask for? Zooey Deschanel.
Ever fucked someone only to realize halfway through that you either don't know or can't remember their name? Only when I fuck myself. Actually, no.
How many people have you slept with in a 24 hour period? 1, but only because I lack the proper "game" to score higher than that.
Do you like anal? No, I fucking love it.
oh oh...zooey... good choice.
pick a color for new socks.
I love surveys...well, I don't love reading them but I love filling them out. If you ever find me answering one seriously, please slap me.
Name: Now would I go to all the trouble of making a cool internet nickname if I was just gonna use my real name all the time?
Age: 35...halfway to dead.
Now your actual age: Why are they always chick surveys? They should put a big dark red blood clot at the top of it so we know the difference.
Shoe size: 12. And no, it has nothing to do with the size of other things. I never get the good stereotypes.
Addicted to: Robert Palmer music videos.
Fetishes: Yes, please!
Have you ever called out your own name during sex?
Does masturbation count?
What's the largest tip you've ever left someone for a blowjob?
I wouldn't call it a tip, but I gave them the name of a good dentist that would pull all of their teeth for them.
After a dry spell, has your dog/cat/goat ever appealed to you as a change up from your hand?
No...I couldn't deal with the awkward stares as we passed each other in the hall.
If you could make an amateur porn with anyone on your friends list, who would it be? why?
You, because you make me harder than any woman I've ever known...that should help with the stage fright related limp dick.
A genie rants wishes for sexual favors, which celebrity would you ask for?
Betty White...she's probably a real freak.
Ever fucked someone only to realize halfway through that you either don't know or can't remember their name?
Yes...but I wouldn't call it a realization. I never bothered to ask.
How many people have you slept with in a 24 hour period?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that being honest would make me seem not so cool.
Do you like anal?
To a degree...that degree being the knuckle on your index finger.
betty white? that's funny considering i got episodes of the golden girls for part of my christmas.
those accusatory glances from the cat because you never call would certainly make me rethink that plan
i still can't get past this hardest business. oh my indeed
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