December 30, 2009

superfreak

spelling freak actually. spelling and grammar freak.

I used to post a good number of blogs on a different site. I got pretty jaded with it quickly, though, because there seems to be a great many people, at least there, who pour over your work like penny starved editors just waiting to pounce on you for one misspelled word or incorrect word usage. Type a blog at 3 a.m. in a drunken stupor going on and on about getting a cum shot in your eye and by the next afternoon when you finally roll out of bed, you better expect someone to have come along and said "it's you're not you" because at some point in your nsfw rant you gave the following advice: when your about to take a wad in the face, always always always point away from your eyes. or wear goggles.

now, i like it when people know the difference between your and you're, their, there, and they're, to, too, and two...but do we have to be anal about it? do we have to come in where someone is trying to simply share the comedic treats of this malady with others and piss on the parade? apparently the answer is yes. i also like when friends point out to me that i've made an error when i've written for an audience and they're intent is to help me save face, but for some people it's just not so. Let's go over this.

1. You're writing little notes which you lovingly refer to as blogs on a social site set up much like myspace or facebook. It really isn't that serious or that big a deal.

2. THIS IS THE INTERNET NOT A NEWSPAPER OR MAGAZINE OR BOOK WRITING WORKSHOP.

3. You aren't discussing world news or on a tirade about the downfall of man being based on poor grammar...you're writing about stuff like getting cum in your eye. or your bitchy coworkers or, or, or... basically, none of it is serious enough, especially on a social site, to warrant public correction.

You have an audience reading these little notes on social sites because you write well or make oustanding life observations or you're humorous and those people are going to keep reading despite a middle of the night misuse of the word "your". Most people are able to overlook such things, but there's a whole other group who really gets their panties in a bunch over such small issues. It's ANNOYING. It's more than annoying. It makes you dislike that person greatly and learn a lot about them. Here's what you will find out:

1. This person likes a lot of attention. When you write something that steals away some of that attention, they will try to figure out a way to bring you back down a little. Humiliation tactics which make them appear smarter than you are, therefore, employed.

2. He or she probably has a lot of insecurity issues which push them towards correcting others in a public forum.... and maybe they're compelled to do it. Maybe they need that sort of order in their lives and your mistake fucks that all up. Either way, they're CRAZY.

3. These people are cunts and/or dicks and/or assholes.

And the icing? These are also often the people who use nonexistent words such as lulz, teh, muh.....and (ugh) kitteh. What sort of shithole would use a sentence in their own blogspace to say something like "for lulz, i asked him if he wanted to pet muh kitteh" then come preach to you about proper grammar in your own?

one of my friends and hopefully a future contributor to this site experienced this problem recently in a note on the above mentioned site. she was discussing her new classes and basically letting out some frustrations. not the right time to pick on someone about their grammar...

but, still the following occurred:

she will be wsn and her commenter is ac which stands for asshole commenter

ac: "There is another girl that swears she is A.D.D. but her doctor won't give the meds. I think she is just addicted to black eyeliner and red bull. She gets both in gallaon jugs." This section was brilliant, apart from the typos. It's this kind of clever observation that keeps me reading your blogs.

wsn: I think the typos lend to how drunk on white zinfandel I was at this point.

there is a mental disorder, I can't remember the name of it, but it's the reason why certain people feel they should, no, must correct others grammar and spelling. It has to do with feelings of insecurity. You want to talk about it or would your time be better spent finding a therapist?

ac: i didn't correct it. . . I just pointed it out. There's probably not a name for that disorder.

wsn: I'm pretty sure rationalizing the disease is part of the disease. I'm here for you. *hugs*

ac: I don't believe you're qualified to make those sorts of gross generalizations. . . regardless of how gross, or general, you might happen to be.

wsn: You are in a safe place. I care about you. no matter how hard you lash out. *hugs*

well, fuck that, i say. i hope there will be none of that here.

also, i think wsn's classmate might look like this:


9 Comments:

wastingawesome said...

i thought this was me. if you look at my FB comments, that's all they are. I'm fully guilty. Thanks to AC, this wasn't me this time.

Here's to drunk posts!

jenniy said...

you aren't that bad about it. your intentions are usually good or humorous

wastingawesome said...

aww, your sweet. i can always count on you to put my insecurities at ease.

redbulls are gonna kill people...and it tastes gross anyway. Not sure about eyeliner. That might taste gross too.

jenniy said...

it's possible at some point you may inadvertently get some eyeliner in your mouth. we'll see then

wastingawesome said...

is that something you are into? cuz if it is...

Philemon said...

I remember that conversation...and I remember laughing heartily at it because of knowing the two people involved genuinely care about each other. The same ac has pointed out my using apostrophe's where none are required. I believe my response was "yo'u ar'e a littl'e ana'l."

It doesn't bother me when it's done to me...I just thank them for proofreading for me since I couldn't be bothered. It bugs me when it's done to friends that comment on my blog to other friends. I like my blogs to be a happy place where people don't have to worry about being attacked.

jenniy said...

i think that day, it actually really wasn't good for her. she almost deleted him. we've had talks about how much we both hate it and how unnecessary it really is... at least some people who do it don't have good intentions with it...that's the way it makes me feel

Porco said...

i think it would bring teh lulz if you wuld pet muh kitteh.

Anonymous said...

Ironically, the guy two posts below me used "your" where he should have used "you're". BURNED.

Post a Comment

about me. not really.

dear you,

i don't talk about my child or being a mom. i don't talk about my garden. i won't mention my craftiness (often) or how much i save each week with coupons. if you're looking for that sort of thing, you're in the wrong place.

instead, let's abandon the tethers of domestication for a moment and remember what it's like to laugh at vulgarity and the world at large.

xo,

j

talk amongst ourselves


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