Boobie Tassels For Buddha

Not that I know, really, what a shot of heroin feels like. In my imagination though, it's not nearly as good as an epic show. Epic is not exactly the right descriptor here but it's the closest. And it will work.

I left here late, but that's typical and by the time I walked in the front door of the bar, Big Daddy's (what a ridiculous name for the smallest bar I've ever been in), the first band was already playing. I knew them as soon as my eyes adjusted to the dim, just
before dusk light filtering in through the grimy door, the open back door and the smoke...caltrop. my heart surged. i fucking love this band and i had no clue, no idea they were even playing. they hadn't been listed on the bill for the show. this was the best of surprises because truth be told, i'd have been just as excited to see this band if they were the ONLY ones playing as I was about seeing torche, asg, and weedeater all put together. these guys are amazing musicians and they fully love the unique sounds they put out. that's the best isn't it? when the band still loves what they do and it isn't yet about doing it for money? i saw them play in june or july of last year at the jinx in savannah. they left such an impression on me that i've done nothing but talk them up during every music conversation i have had with anyone ever since...so walking into that bar and seeing them on the nonexistent stage, was an incredible moment. i couldn't give my money to the guy at the door fast enough and ended up walking away as soon as he gave me my change...he had to pull me back to put my arm band on while i looked towards the band in awe doing some motions in similar grain to the i have to pee and can't hold it anymore so bouncing from one foot to the other makes me feel better dance. the crowd was sparse at this point because most people think they're too cool to come in early and see the opening bands. (well, fuckers, you miss the good stuff when you do that, just so you know and if you happen to read this blog and were at this show, you probably missed some of the best talent displayed all evening because you're too concerned with how uncool it might be to show up when the shit started. yeah...i'm talking to you, guy who wears too tight pants and flannel and drinks a pbr with the label turned out for everyone to see that you drink shit beer just because every other scene kid in the place drinks shit beer.) I made my way right up the front of the crowd with relative ease and let the music wash over me. this may only be the second time i've seen this band, but both times i've spent with my head upturned, my eyes mostly closed, my hips moving, and a smile on my face taking a moment, occasionally just to watch them do their thing. i can't say enough that if you ever, ever have the chance to see this band live, you should do so. and i will also say that you should buy their album and the next one when it comes out in just a little bit. it doesn't do their live performance justice at all because technology doesn't capture the essence of good music perfectly by any means, but get it anyway. show some love. or buy a shirt. or tell me you can't afford a shirt and i'll buy one for you. truthfully, i'd make these guys apple pie in a june cleaver dress if it made them smile. so yeah, they're from north carolina and there's some other stuff about them i could say but then you might not look them up yourself and i'd get mad about it.

the second band to play was us christmas. i had no idea what to expect really...i youtubed them a couple days before the show, but i'd never listened to any albums or any of that good stuff. when they started setting up, i was kind of confused, i must admit. there were too many drum pieces for just one set, to begin with. and they just kept stacking them up. all in all, there were way too many of them to fit inside the designated 'stage' area. there are two drummers, a violinist, two guitar players--one of whom does vocals, a bass player, and a guy who looked really wasted and played things like bongos and tamborines and some other shit i don't know the name of...that guy in the picture in the front with the weird jacket and that odd almost kokopelli like tattoo on his face that he'll really regret having one day when he runs out of drugs...but even with the oddities, i really liked the band. the music had its own flavor which is rare in any style and especially hard to pick out in small venue like this. i guess that's the only thing that really stands out though...the band's unique sound which really comes mostly from the added elements. in this kind of venue, it was hard to really tell if the two drummer thing added something that couldn't have been achieved with a really balls to the wall highly skilled drummer or if it just looked badass to have two guys sitting up there on drums. You can't really find much about these guys except that they've been together since 2002, are all from North Carolina, and pretty much feel like they do their own thing. Everyone does, but these guys (and girl) succeed.

ASG played next. I really like asg a good bit so this was a great moment. The first song they played was Mourning of the Earth on Low Country, the 2009 split with Black Tusk. If you don't have that album, you should (you can download it on this really badass blog a friend of mine runs...Doomgrinder. you can download a lot of great stuff from his site. comprehensive is an understatement). After that, everything is pretty much a sludgy blur. I leaned against the wall, grinning, and enjoying every screamed word, every distorted riff. My eyes close and I just ride the songs. It's the way music is meant to be enjoyed...to me. I never did get the intense urge some people get to thrash about and run into each other while wearing ear plugs and whipping their hair about in other people's faces. In fact, having to deal with that sort of ruins the experience for me somewhat since I have to come out of my daze and watch out for galloping fat fucks hellbent on elbowing somebody, anybody in the tit. And...with mine usually being the biggest in the room and certainly the biggest near the stage, I am the immediate target. You can buy any album ASG puts out and it's never going to be like seeing them live 5 feet from where you're standing, I can promise that without any sort of misgivings that I'm wrong. If you're into this style of metal, then you live for seeing a band in person...sludge, doom, and stoner metal cannot be captured well on any sort of media source. This isn't pop music we're talking about here... And, if you aren't a fan of this style, you'll leave a show like this with a new addiction if you have a taste for metal at all. Bands like ASG are unstoppable when it comes to reeling you in and making you feel every note played, every drumbeat, every gutteral vocal slice. So, yeah...ASG put out their first album in 2002 and are also from North Carolina.

Weedeater. Fuck. There is a lot that can be said about Weedeater. First things first, they put on a very lively show or did on Sunday. Dixie Dave threw firecrackers into the crowd before they even finished setting up. This did not go well with the natives. By natives, I mean the guy who took money at the back door who obviously thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread since there were girls flirting with him nonstop. Ugly fucker. I'm still not sure why it never occurred to him that said girls were flirting their way into saving that $12 cover for more pbr talls they really didn't need to pound. Just as the door boy made his way over to say something about the firecrackers, dave growls into the microphone, the beginning of god luck and good speed. the guy made his way off in a hurry and i giggled for a good solid 30 seconds over it. i was standing just a few feet from dave in his lovely D.A.R.E. shirt. He crosses his eyes when he growls lyrics into the microphone. He loves that microphone, too...he kinda made out with it. He also blew snot onto the 'stage' barrier at one point which was just odd, but you know...whatever floats your boat. I will say, musically speaking, Weedeater is sludge at it's finest. Heavily distorted and abrasive sounds slowed down in true stoner fashion with southern rock influences that can't be denied...for fuck's sake the band even does a cover of skynard's gimme back my bullets. They're signed to Southern Lord records which carries great names like black cobra and earthride...om and goatsnake. They've been together since 1997 and such. You should maybe check them out. The vocals aren't for everyone but I can't say how many times I've complained about a band's vocals just to have some guy tell me they never listen to a band for the vocals anyway. Just the music. whatever. why not just listen to instrumental bands then? i guess this may be one of those times when having a vagina interferes with my understanding of the issue at hand. damn you, vagina....damn you.

to be continued...i have one band to go and some album downloads for you. check back tomorrow. please.