January 11, 2010
Vinyl Fossil Record
11:11 PM | Posted by
Philemon
I had a revelation, if you can call it that, in the shower this morning. I was sudsing myself up real good, as I am wont to do, and scattered a fair amount of suds on the shower curtain.
As I glanced at the pattern the suds formed I noticed two distinct images. One was clearly the head of an alien. You know, the giant head with giant eyes and no nose and very narrow chin that they use as the basis for most alien images. It had a mean look about it, the eyes clearly forming an angry arch...diabolical even.
The other image was that of a brontosaurus. The kind you would find on a cave wall...if there were actual cave paintings of dinosaurs. Long sweeping line of the neck and the hump of the back leading to the long tail. You could imagine Fred Flinstone sliding down it's tail at the end of a long work day.
These images got me to wondering if aliens visited our little blue globe and abducted creatures way back when dinosaurs roamed this planet as the dominant species. And did they pick on a specific kind of dinosaur like they seem to pick on inbred hillbillies nowadays (no offense to any inbred hillbillies that may be reading this...I'm truly sorry about the appeal your anal cavity has for aliens).
Are we going to visit an alien world someday and find a zoo filled with dinosaurs that are prone to drinking moonshine out of jugs, wearing hats made of straw and fucking their first cousin? I wish I was at home to sketch this rare creature that I would dub the Alabamasaurus (I don't think I can throw the "no offense" thing on the end of this paragraph...that's pretty offensive).
The universe is a vast and mysterious place. I do hope we get the chance to explore some of it before I pass on. I have no doubt there is life out there...I just hope their colonic proclivities are grossly exaggerated.
And the moral of this pointless and meandering story is that if you stand in the shower thinking about dinosaurs too long you will run out of time to masturbate. And that will certainly take a big bite out of your better mood.
Addendum: I just finished a quick sketch of my Alabamasaurus (quick being about a minute). I'll have to flesh him out more at a later time.
How he can play such a mean banjo with those silly dinosaur arms I do not know.
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2 Comments:
could there be a climaxasaurus in honor of my hometown?
I am impressed he can play on the fretboard with those fat dino feet.
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