Boobie Tassels For Buddha

why the fuck do i let him wake me up just so he can come over and go back to sleep? i asked myself.

d and i were in my room. he'd called a little bit before while i was still sleeping off the previous night. i'd had a pretty late one. understatement. he'd been a friend of mine since i was a 13 year old stoner kid. since this was my 21st year, that made him long term in my book. we shared a lot of good time memories. in fact, i was with him the night i was inducted into stonerhood. and, right now, he really needed a friend. he'd gotten busted with a couple hundred rolls, was forced (thankfully) into meth addiction recovery, and had to attend AA and NA meetings. my place was right down from the AA house so he'd stop by sometimes before he went to meetings just to talk or nap.

it only took one time of fucking him after all those years of having a major crush on him to realize that i was really better off just having a nap partner. terrible lay.

the dude snored though. like a beast. so, i couldnt fall back asleep even after i rolled the opposite way and put the pillow over my head. that's when i saw it....condom. used. from the night before. i couldnt help but grin a little remembering the events leading up to the condom tossing. the earlier hours were pretty hazy but i remembered the bellybutton contest (dont ask. i have a fetish) and then bringing the winner home to my place to celebrate. killer celebration.

i snapped out of my reverie and scrambled over to move a stool in front of the evidence. i really didnt want him waking up to see me creeping out with a jizz filled lightly ribbed for her pleasure trojan between my fingers. no.

afterwards, i turned on some music, made him roll on his side, and finally caught some more zzz's. in fact, i barely woke up to tell him goodbye on his way out to his meeting.

later on, my roommate did wake me up beating on my door. she was such a good girl. it used to drive me insane...

"what in the world were you up to last night?" she asked while petting the cat she held like a baby in her arms.

"celebrating victory," i yawned.

"celebrating what?? nevermind. i don't wanna know."

she let the cat down and it stalked over to the bed rubbing its head on my outstretched hand.

i yawned again and she said, "have you been sleeping all day?"

"i dunno. what time is it?"

"like 4."

"then yeah pretty much. d came over for awhile. we talked some but mostly slept."

"did you tell him what you did last night?"

"why would i?"

see what i mean about the good girl thing?

right about then the cat started making that retching hairball noise. she ran over to check on him. i just stretched and told her she'd be cleaning up any regurgitated hairwads he left...

she started freaking though. "he's really choking on something! help me!" i sat up and looked over. she was peering into his mouth at this point while he's sorta flailing about a little. "it looks like a ring or something," she said then jammed her finger into the cat's mouth and pulled out the 'ring' only it's not a ring. she has her finger jammed to the hilt inside that condom full of j's celebratory spunk. 12 hour old spunk by this time.

needless to say, she was not thrilled and made some sounds eerily similar to the cat retching on her way to the bathroom.

at least she threw it away for me.