Boobie Tassels For Buddha

I wonder what would happen if these Misfits were pitted against the real Misfits in a Battle of the Bands....I also wonder who would spend more time doing their makeup. Both are equally scary, but would it be more involved to tease that pea soup hair and electrify those cheeks or gel that one strand into the perfect face blocking place?

Jerrica transformed from herself to Jem by aid of a hologram machine and a pair of nifty earrings which would envelope her in Jem's image. And, of course, no girl show is complete without some romance. In this case, the love interest was actually unwittingly digging on both personalities. What do you do when you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you with yourself?

I also used to have this Barbie style family of dolls called the Heart family.

This was cute and gaggingly wholesome fun with a Mommy, Daddy, baby girl, and baby boy. Aw! Or not really aw. Not at my house anyway. In my imagination and in my 3 story dollhouse, Mr. Heart used to have affairs on Mrs. Heart with Jem.

That is correct. Before the age of ten, I made Jem into a cheap homewrecker. That bitch.

But, don't let this fool you into thinking something negative about my perceptions of relationships and that perhaps I'm wired all wrong or my parents' relationship had my views skewed. My parents did get divorced by the time I was 12 but it had nothing to do with infidelity. I'm fairly certain neither of them were cheaters. And, the affairs Mr. Heart had with Jem had nothing to do with the drama of a secret relationship. They snuck around, sure. They hung out on the plastic furniture and she brought over plastic fruit in full rocker costume. She never once saw him in her Jerrica attire. And here's why: in my mind, Mr. Heart simply thought Jem was the coolest girl he'd ever seen.

Jem was something completely different from his American dream family. She loved music and dancing. They listened to Cyndi Lauper and moved around the house singing along. She made up songs for him and dressed differently. She did her own thing and wasn't afraid to be an upwardly mobile woman of the 80s. Okay, so my mind at the time couldn't conceive the term "upwardly mobile woman of the 80s" but I knew she supported herself and didn't need a damn dime of his while his prude of a wife couldn't have gotten a job if her life depended on it (and she'd end up living on alimony checks for the rest of her life). Who wouldn't want the cool girl who could sing her ass off and had flashy earrings? Mr. Heart just couldn't resist.

And, that's why the affair began. I thought Jem was badass. The influence of such a character seems pretty small when your child is watching cartoons on Saturday mornings while you're doing the laundry or sleeping in, but here I am today with that influence still quite apparent with my love of music, self sufficiency, education, tattoos, unique style, and outside the box thinking. Fuck am I ever glad my mom never got the depth of a show like Jem...I imagine I'd be sucking down Xanax in massive quantities right now if my life were anything like that of the nauseatingly domestic Mrs. Heart.