Boobie Tassels For Buddha: You've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth...dork?

February 5, 2010

You've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth...dork?

12:40 AM | Posted by jenniy

beep

beep beep

beep

b u z z beep

buzzzz z beepbeep

z b

beep u

beep z

buuuuzzzz

Huh? oh. it's the phone. text.

ugh.

what could anyone want at this hour? oh wait. what fucking time is it? I glance at the phone. Only one way to find out. I silence the buzzing and beeping and take a look at the screen, hitting a slew of buttons in the process in my half asleep state. When I look down at the screen, it's on the main background. I have no idea yet who sent the text. Still, it's only about 9:30 p.m. I guess I fell asleep while reading. How lame am I? It's fucking Friday night...

I stretch a minute then check into the message. The first thing I see when I look at the list of texts in my inbox is a winkyface ;) I don't even need to see the name beside it to know who sent it. Only 1 person sends me that sort of message, S. It's like code for 'get your ass over here.'

hmm... waking up from an impromptu nap or any nap sometimes feels like waking up in the a.m. so I think I'd really enjoy the company. S is pretty fucking cute and his voice reaches baritones that make my knees weak. I message him back.

-hey, hey...feel like some company?

-indeed.

-Let me change really quick and I'll head your way.

-Sure thing, babe.

-oh...text me the directions again just in case.

I stretch some more and then hop in the shower. I really just want to wash off the day since I worked and then napped. I throw on a pair of jeans and a sweater, touch up my makeup, and brush my teeth. I grab a jacket and give myself a final glance in the mirror. I smile at my reflection...I look pretty nice...

When I check the phone, I do have my directions. good boy.

I get to his place after passing the right road the first time. Fuck. I keep doing that. He shows me around since he moved to the other part of the duplex since the last time I visited. I take it all in appreciatively. He has a good eye for decorating. It's a nice place in all but totally a bachelor pad with the large flat screen television and video/surround sound/etc being a prominent feature in the living room.

We talk about the books on his shelves for a moment then he says he's thought of the perfect movie to watch...Have I seen Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (or mst3k to the dorks of the world of which i am now one)? No, I haven't. He's flabbergasted.

"Well, great then...it'll be a new experience for you. You'll like it. I hope, anyway."

He puts it on and makes us some popcorn...brings me a glass of water and tells me to get comfy. I settle against his side on the couch as the movie starts. It's good. The idea is pretty fucking odd, I must admit. The scientific experimentation part of it anyway..but I laugh often at the random quips. It's that sort of dry humour that I love.

Part of the way through, we've finished our popcorn and he wraps his arm around me. Aw. He leans in to kiss me and momentarily, I am kinda pissed that I'm going to miss part of the movie...this fucker is totally blocking my view. Damn but whatever. One thing leads to another and I end up missing the whole last half of the movie and then some. But now I'm totally ready to finish it. I mean despite the good bit of fun I've just had, I'm looking forward to seeing the rest. We find the spot where we left off and settle back down on the couch. The last part is definitely as funny as the first. I keep giggling. I may have even snorted but I won't say for sure. On this day, I become hooked on MST3K in a bad way.

After the movie, we make small talk and somehow it comes up that I need a lesson on the proper way to kill a zombie. Are we really discussing this just after we were fucking in the other room? Yes. Yes, we are. This is how I roll. No cuddling please. Let's have ridiculous, meaningless conversations or play Mario or eat fruit...but I digress...

sex and the art of zombie killing.

So, he shows me the game Left 4 dead. In this game, you kill hunters, smokers, boomers and tanks. Smokers lash out at you with long ropey tongues. Hunters are in hoodies and pounce on their prey to attack. Boomers are grossly fat fuckers that explode globs of flesh and blood all over you when you kill them...and might just spew green vomit before you put them out of commission. Tanks are like the Incredible Hulks of zombies and make the game a wee bit tougher. I don't play video games really, but in the right environment, I don't mind watching someone else play. Apparently, this one was at least moderately fun to watch considering I am so informative (even a year later writing this). A warning flashes on the screen that the next door would open to a HORDE of zombies. Horde means such an impossibly large mob that, if real, only Woody Harrellson would be able to survive it. Just before S crosses his character through that door and into chaos, he throws me a side glance and says, "Let's shoot some shit, alrighty?"