Boobie Tassels For Buddha

ok. i like the hip hop. don't get me wrong. i let my 23 yr old friends appreciate eminem, young jeezy and those fucking...i don't know... say, luda. what's he done in forever?

when i was 9 an album dropped that would change my life. Some of you might not even have been alive then...or at least you were still chewing on pureed bananas or cheerios or whatever you eat when you cut a tooth (that's you Josh). that album was License to Ill. the providers were the Beastie Boys.

here's the law. everyone who loves music must at least be familiar. you know who they are. you've heard songs from this album, at minimum. if however you have never owned this album...on tape, vinyl, cd or all digital...well i don't fucking know what to say to you.

when took a car trip to masseena NY to kick american ass at a baseball tourney (3homers/1GS...suck it) when i was 10, i listened to it.
when i called girls up in middle school to go watch a movie and make out, i listened to it.
First smoke,
first drink,
first tit grab
first stolen car ride
13th birthday party
cartag
smoke
that time i was gonna go down on this girl and, just in time, thought better of it and told her that girls was the coolest song ever
smoke
smoke
smoke
highschool shit-punk band (awesome cover of Eagles Hotel California!)
first job
all through university
self mixed wedding soundtrack
fuck, any party i ever had
you get the idea

obviously, occasional obsession issues. so. these are the original demos from the album. lovingly referred to as Original Ill.

the tracks I'm Down, Scenario, Fight For Your Right #2 are on this album but it's missing Slow Ride which i just enjoy too much not to share.

the chances of finding die hard beastie fans here are remote, but i wager everyone remembers a time when a track off this album was playin in the background and they got stoked.

Enjoy

Learn

if you ain't down, well, hey fuck you.

When I'm getting to know someone, one of the first questions I ask or perhaps one of the first things I check out on an internet profile concerns music. Quickest way to turn me off? Tell me, "oh, I listen to everything." Really? Do you? You listen to gospel and grindcore and country and hip hop and sludge metal? The confused look on your face tells me you have no idea what I'm talking about. I usually attempt to ask if that person has any favorites...favorite band or singer or song or album or anything. That response isn't usually too encouraging either. To me, it means you probably haven't vested that much interest in music and might as well be dead.

Music is life.

I learned that whole deal at an early age thanks to my dad. You know, he wasn't the easiest person to live with...certainly to be raised by. He was way too into drinking and drugs. His temper was wickedly short....to put it mildly. I don't think he was really cut out for fatherhood. He died 3 years ago. Cancer. And actually, he would have celebrated his birthday just a couple days ago, so of course, he's been on my mind. We weren't close but it was still a big loss. I held a lot of resentment towards him for not really having a childhood. I mean, going to court at 3 because your daddy was arrested for distribution of cocaine isn't exactly keeping up a stable environment conducive to child raising. After I found out he was sick and even after he died, I had the desire to let all that go. Why hold on to it? It certainly wasn't doing me any good. I just really had no idea how the fuck I was going to do that.

Gradually, it happened. I've gone through a lot of changes of my own in the last couple of years... alot had to do with a musical evolution that started with a suggestion to listen to Baroness. Music...music I like anyway...means a fuckload to me. Elevates my moods. Harmonizes my emotions. Frees my spirit. Somewhere along my evolutionary road, I began to realize that Dad taught me all that. I can picture him clearly singing along to Don Henley's (from The Eagles) The Heart of the Matter. "I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter. But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter. But I think it's about forgiveness. Forgiveness. Even if, even if you don't love me anymore." He'd turn it up on that part when he'd have company over and tell them to listen to that shit closely. It's a good song. I can still sing along to most of it even now. And of course, Eric Clapton's "Cocaine" could get him laughing and fist pumping like a champ...crazy old fuck. He introduced me to some greats. Janis, Jimi, the Allman Brothers, the Stones, Zeppelin, Cream, Bread, Foghat, the Eagles...Hotel California still gets my hips moving, like it or not, fuckers..., the Doobie Brothers, Charlie Daniels (stfu), and more, more, more. Dad knew his shit and it makes me smile to think back to him laughing, smiling, even tearing up over songs. I got my love of sharing music from him, too. I don't remember much about growing up....side effect of a fucked up childhood...but I do remember him making people listen to the different songs he loved and keying them in on the best parts while they had their drinks and whatever else may have been on the menu that day.

Dad,

I would be much less of a woman if it weren't for you teaching me how much music could mean...how much it could move you and connect you to others. Thank you. It is about forgiveness, isn't it? I love you, you crazy sonofabitch.

always,

j

Joshypoo says:
QUESTION:
Craig says:
ok
Joshypoo says:
if there was a place to do it, that seemed worthwhile, would you blog?
because i have this person, who wants me to blog, and blogging is for faggots and transvestites
but i might do it if you did too
peer pressure and shit
Craig says:
didn't you thow a hissy fit about me and twitter
isn't that kinda the same thing
Joshypoo says:
yeah
yes...
Craig says:
only in a larger scale
Joshypoo says:
yeah
Craig says:
so
Joshypoo says:
hey, i could always pull my penis out and let you step on it
it was just a question
Craig says:
you would make a mad muslim
bad
too
you have no conviction
Joshypoo says:
the response i gave, and i'll quote "there's not enough tea in china"
how's that for conviction MOTHAFUCKA?!?!?!?
Craig says:
but is there enough potatoes in ireland?
Joshypoo says:
as long as you combine them with all the oil in afghanistan, so i could make french fries
was that a sharp comeback? HIGH FIVE!
Craig says:
yes
well done
Joshypoo says:
your acclaim gives me chubs
chubs4u
that'll be my blogging name
not impressed? well that's because you're an asshole
there's nothing wrong with me!

First of all, I am a no talent hack. But, I have awareness.

Here’s the thing. Blogs of all sorts are available ad-nauseum on the net. And there are a million different ways to get your creativity across. Do it, by all means available, if you must. What gets me at times is the whole American Idol audition syndrome where everybody thinks what they write is amazing. Fine. In all likelihood you write particularly well, especially if you came here. But there are those people…those who write poetry on other soc-nets for instance, when they have no business doing so.

In all honesty, if I see a poem other than in an anthology, or scrolling across a tv screen on veterans day, then it is out of place. Sure, we all found a way to string a bunch of rhymes together in high-school, or god forbid university, in an effort to score a little scratch, but those days are gone. If you write poetry, find an editor and have one knowing person tell you how much you suck as opposed to subjecting yourself to the critiques of the ignorant masses. Also, just because you are having a bad day/week/life, it does not mean that all your work has to bee dark and vampiry. For fuck sakes.

Chuck Bukowski is the man. Prolific. Truthful. Heart-breaking. Hard and Dirty. He gives literature some fuzz.

Learn Here.

Admire below.



Friendly Advice to a Lot of Young Men

Go to Tibet.
Ride a Camel.
Read the Bible.
Dye your shoes blue.
Grow a beard.
Circle the world in a paper canoe.
Subscribe to the Saturday Evening Post.
Chew on the left side of your mouth only.
Marry a woman with one leg and shave with a straight razor.
And carve your name in her arm.

Brush your teeth with gasoline.
Sleep all day and climb trees at night.
Be a monk and drink Buckshot and beer.
Hold your head under water and play the violin.
Do a belly dance before pink candles.
Kill your dog.
Run for Mayor.
Live in a barrel.
Break your head with a hatchet.
Plant tulips in the rain.

But don’t write poetry.

This is perhaps one the most emotional songs/movie scenes I've been able to enjoy. I love Platoon, and think it brought us several great actors, all while telling a story that you don't often see. That of the one through the eyes of the soldier them self.



Adagio for strings somehow manages to capture the raw emotion of the soldier's constant battle with not only the enemy, but his own moral values. Being a war vet myself, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think back on what I witnessed, and what I felt. It's something nobody can take away or compare to.

I came up with these out of the blue, without much thought or pretense. It was more of a response to a request, based on other list created by a woman in response to a celebrity's interview that you might just see in this blog...

1. Cuddling is only meant to ensure a follow up sex romp.

2. Our mothers don't come first, they just know how to cheat to win.

3. The way to our heart truly is through our stomach..unless of course, you want it quick and painless, then you go straight through the chest.

4. We have to cling on to some form of our childhood, be it video games or even a porn stash. It's what makes us feel young.

5. When we say No, it means "I guess so, maybe, I don't know."

6. If you ask us to chose our favorite body part, its like asking us to masturbate in public, just not fair.

7. It's truly embedded deeply in our chromosomes to forget things that your chromosomes have deemed important.

8. We are in touch with our feelings, please stop asking....no seriously, stop.

9. A threesome isn't every man's ultimate fantasy....an all out orgy with several women, and lots of whipped cream and strawberries is.

10. We love you for what you are, here and now, if that wasn't true, we'd be somewhere else.

Hope this will suffice, as my brain is running on empty.

(it's really just the meanderings of a crazy man, who, when push comes to shove, can pull anything out of his ass)

I love movies.

Even some of those truly awful movies that are so bad they're good.

I hate ranking things so this won't be a top (insert number here) list...just some movies that I love and think everyone should see.

Inherit the Wind - An absolutely brilliant movie based on the Scopes Monkey Trial that took place in Tennessee in 1926. You can look up the details but basically it was unlawful "to teach any theory that denies the story of the Divine Creation of man as taught in the Bible, and to teach instead that man has descended from a lower order of animals." John Scopes intentionally violated this law and was put on trial.

Spencer Tracy is amazing in it as the man defending Scopes (which was Clarence Darrow in the actual trial). What I really love is that the movie drives home the point that faith and science can be reconciled, and shows explicitly that ignorance and fear are the true evils. If a higher power created us as we are, he gave us out minds and free will and an insatiable curiosity that shouldn't be denied out of fear that we may have to see things in a different way.

Blazing Saddles - Comedies never get the credit they deserve. This may be the funniest movie ever made and it takes the uncomfortable topic of racism and laughs right in its face. There's a lesson in here for all of us. If you can laugh at it, it has no power over you. And if you can't laugh at this movie, there's something wrong with you.

The Big Sleep - Humphrey Bogart is my favorite actor. There is no close second. This is my favorite movie with him in it and one that doesn't quite get the respect it deserves. Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon get the huge acclaim, but I'll take The Big Sleep over both of them. Not only is it based on a brilliant novel by Raymond Chandler, but it has Lauren Bacall acting opposite Bogart who later became his wife. They are perfect together and every second they're on screen together just sizzles. It also has some of the best dialogue you'll ever find on film.

Seven Samurai - Akira Kurosawa may be the greatest filmmaker that ever lived. I would recommend any movie he made, but Seven Samurai is his masterpiece. He invented modern storytelling on film. His camera work and methods are still used today and I don't think there are any great modern filmmakers that wouldn't list him as an influence on their work. Seven Samurai also has the benefit of some truly brilliant performances by some of the top Japanese actors of the time. Everyone the loves movies should see this film.

Akira - I suppose my love of anime (Japanese animation) should get its own blog, but Akira is the movie that truly got me hooked and opened my eyes to the limitless possibilities of animation. In the hands of people that aren't afraid to push boundaries, animation can create worlds and explore concepts that would make Walt Disney shit bricks. Akira pushed the limits of violence and science fiction like nothing I'd seen before.

To explain the plot and explore the ideas presented would take days. It isn't my favorite anime film, or even the one that makes me think the most (Evangelion gets that nod) but it was the first that really blew my mind. And just from an artistic viewpoint it is beautiful to look at. I wore out my VCR pausing the screen over and over to try and catch all the details the artists poured into it.


A Clockwork Orange - I'm singing in the rain...just singing in the rain. If you laughed at that, just skip to the next movie. Stanley Kubrick is one of my favorite directors. It's hard to find one that almost never lets you down. A Clockwork Orange is a fun little piece of filmmaking that doesn't take itself too seriously while somehow being very serious. I'm sure there is some deep commentary in there about violence and disenchanted youth in the word today, but I'm usually giggling too hard to notice.

The movie uses such unique dialogue and a hodgepodge of film techniques that you kind of feel off balance the whole time. It all fits together brilliantly and you're having so much fun watching this charming little sociopath that all the messages and meanings hit you much later.


The Quiet Man - My favorite John Wayne movie and a glimpse at how beautiful a country Ireland is. I will get there someday. It's the story of an Irish American boxer that returns to Ireland to reclaim his family's farm. It's a wonderful little love story with plenty of humor, a great brawl, and a wonderful showcase for the beauty and culture of Ireland. If this movie doesn't charm you then you probably don't have a heart. John Ford and John Wayne may be the best director/actor combo of all time and this movie proves that it doesn't apply only to Westerns. It's one of those movies that just makes you feel warm inside...makes you feel good. We all need that sometimes.


The Petrified Forest - I've mentioned this movie in a blog before. The story of a man who has lost everything but finds meaning in giving the only thing he has left to give. Sometimes that's all you can hope for. To find something or someone worth giving everything you have for. This movie actually made me cry the first time I saw it. Leslie Howard is one of the most understated and underrated actors of all time. His interactions with Davis and Bogart in this movie are just brilliant. He's on another level. This is worth seeing just for his performance.


The Third Man - This film gets me in two ways. The first way is in the absolute beautiful way it is filmed. This is why I love black and white movies. This would lose so much of its power if it were in color. It's art on film. Second is in the underlying theme, which is unrequited love. It's something that's always there under the surface and many miss it because of the more obvious murder mystery laid over the top of it. If you don't get it after the scene with the cat, then you're not really paying attention.



I think that's enough for now. I hope to do a similar blog about books eventually.

And if you're reading this, go do the same thing. I like finding new movies to watch and books to read. Ya'll are some of the smartest and most interesting people I know. Gimme culture...gimme insight and expand my horizons...make me think dammit, and give me entertainment that will leave me fulfilled.